theyre mercurial creatures

im yuri and i live in a dream world. im a dear lover of the uncomfortable, awkward, stilted, and uncanny. this site is to compile all that i love in the world and blend in alongside it as something just as uncomfortable awkward stilted and uncanny :) ive been blogging and compiling for years now, and i hope you enjoy what ive found and what i adore.

as long as ive used the internet, ive aspired to cultivate myself; my image, into something exciting and beautiful. ive been shaped by my time here, allowed it to mold me instead of me molding myself. and i dont think this is wrong for me, but i hope this site can serve as a way to grow into something much more honest, more perverted, more uncomfortable for the people around me. i see the beauty in that kind of aspiration, in the way the web and everything on it can shape me same as it would if i had experienced it in real life. i want you here with me, let me show you who i am and who i can be and let me see the same of you （。々°）i love you and the terrible people we can be together.
i wont let you down, youre my friend.

7/14/24 this will be the first official "update" for this page, and its contents. i plan to treat this website like my own diary and personal informational archive; sharing updates from my life and information about the stuff i love, be it in review format or just a desperate throwaway to try and get somebody interested. ive become slowly interested in the pirating/old web culture, and my interest in any modern social media has waned as my frustration with censorship has grown. im a fan of pornography and old movies first and foremost, and this has been the driving point of my very small dvd collection. i enjoy dvds a lot, and as many other dvd collectors can attest to in this day and age, it feels incredible to hold something in your hands that you know for certain You Own; that you can watch as many times as you want and nobody can hide it behind a paywall. ive particularly enjoyed procuring dvds of obscure japanese shows, ones where i cannot even find torrents of them online. theres a very specific kind of selfish satisfaction in it, when i can watch something like that and know im probably one of hundreds in the world that still has dvds of it. im still learning how it would be possible for me to burn these dvds and create torrents of them, but i will when im able to.

i have numerous plans for both the look of this site and its various sidepages, and i promise with time itll look a lot better than it currently does; but i need an outlet more than anything, so thatll remain the focus for now and ill come back and tweak things as time goes on. primitivity can be exciting, can it not :)? enjoy the possibility of new things that look a little ugly and unpolished; theres not much of it left!

8/7/24 social media is slowly killing me, and i keep coming back to think about what can be done for this site, and how i should work on it, but i still feel creatively stifled and unsure of myself. its hard to feel free when ive spent my whole life scared! i have so many options, and so much limitless freedom, and its overwhelming in its intensity. ive spent more time lately on more obscure sides of the web, and thinking about just how many people out there use the internet beyond social media, how many old sites and message boards and old games are left behind. its inspiring and depressing at the same time. im sure other people wonder if their sites and internet places will be found, used, appreciated, if theyre ever going to be again or if theyll just be left behind. im sure i dont really have to worry about things like that, but if you dont have a social media following in this day and age, the things you make will most likely end up remaining underground. i guess thats fine for me though, nothing suits me better than niche. ill have fun my own way. some short term plans for the site include a dedicated diary log, an art page (for others, not myself, not yet lol), and some more work on review pages and shrines.